More like Law & DISorder: An SVU Recap

Season 15: Episode 15 “Comic Perversion”

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Bum Bum!

“I suspect he converted for the jokes”
“And this offends you as a jew?”
“No, it offends me as a comedian.”

I took no joy in this weeks episode of Law & Order: SVU. Here is the synopsis straight from my DVR.

“A comedian jokes about rape while performing at a college, and then his fans assault a student. Later, a woman accuses the comedian of rape and Benson arrests him, but Barba fears Benson may have acted too eagerly.”

Law and Order SVU Johnathan Silverman

The “comedian” is Josh Galloway (because Shmanial Shmosh would have been too on the nose) played by star of 1995 NBC sitcom The Single Guy, Jonathan Silverman. He’s an edgy comic who talks about rape and sex and probably other things like fisting and tort reform too, but they really don’t get into that. Here’s a better description of this episode. Jonathan Silverman (…and Mac, the horses name was Friday) doesn’t tell one joke but talks about rape in front of a brick wall. A bunch of protesters interrupt him to tell him rape isn’t funny and not a joking matter. He brings one of the girls on stage, they have a quick back and forth where he is not funny and she is full of facts. He then makes this awesome terrible non-joke “No, rape is not funny. Gang rape on the other hand is funny, because, you know, rule of threes.” I was waiting for him to explain how words with a “k” sound are funnier than other words, but he never got to it. He must save that one for the late show.

After the show, the protester leaves and gets harassed by two fans of Mr. Galloways who mention his “Gang Rape—Rule of threes” joke thing. Now, it is unclear if she is raped or kinda felt up, but she does pull out a rape whistle. She’s prepared enough to have the whistle, but not to have mace. What year is this?

Meanwhile, Josh Galloway sees a girl on his way off stage they exchange knowing fuck glances.

Law and Order SVU

The protester goes to SVU and implores them to arrest Josh because of his jokes words, they go question him, he makes fun of them but invites them to the show. They go to the show, he makes more jokes talking and on their way out the girl who exchanged “knowing glances” with him the night before stops the SVU cops and accuses Josh of raping her. He says it’s consensual and she was drunk. She says it was rape. It goes to trial. A video surfaces of her flirting with Josh on stage and flashing her bra at him (she was wearing a see-through shirt that she lifted up to show her black bra. I love network TV.) so everybody thinks all is lost, until the protester dresses up like a porn star trying to be a business lady and seduces Josh at his hotel bar, and when she tries to leave his hotel room and he gets all rapey (as people who are often on trial for rape often do) she kicks him squaw in the sack but not before retrieving her glasses which had been recording the entire encounter. Barba makes a deal with Josh, No jail but he has to register as a sex offender. Something-something Chicago PD crossover. The end.

So, yes. That’s what happened and it all made me mad. Law & Order is written by grown-ups who work in the entertainment industry, right? They must have seen a standup comic perform once or twice, right? Why not hire an actual comic to come in and give them some actual jokes. “Josh Galloway” stood on that stage and didn’t make one joke. He had about 15 minutes of setups, but no punchline.

Here are some of the “jokes”:

“You guys go to TSU, right? What does that even stand for – Trashed Slut University? Or Totally Swallow U?”

Really? That’s the best you could come up with? First of all. Any frat guy could come up with Trashed Slut University. And just taking the initial of the university and changing them to something dumb is hacky.

Speaking of hacky, another joke, “When men get date raped it’s called something different; It’s called getting lucky.”

Did he already run through all his airline jokes? Was the differences between the United States and Soviet Russia bit not playing?

Movies and TV have been messing this up far too long. (Looking at you, 1988’s Punchline.) First, don’t hire an actor to play a comic. The cadence is all wrong  and they don’t know how to sell a joke. Jim Norton was available play this part. Don’t tell me he wasn’t. Second, hire a comic to actually write you some jokes. I’m not sure if the writers of Law & Order realize that New York is full of comedy clubs where guys and gals who tell jokes for a living frequent, but such places exist and, for a fee, I’m sure some of these nice guys and gals would help write you some actual jokes.

As someone who has done open mics and been around lots of guys telling rape jokes, I’ll tell can say this, it is really easy to write a rape joke. It’s really hard to write a funny one. Anyone can be offensive.

Example of a joke thing he said after being interrupted by the protester who said rape isn’t funny, “Let’s not heckle our feminist sisters here. If anyone knows what’s funny, it’s a feminist.” Did Rush Limbaugh write this material?

I understand what they are trying to do, but this guy is supposed to be a wildly successful comic, right? He should at least have a couple of good jokes or work really hard at selling the bad ones. Neither of which happens in this episode, but the fake crowds sure love it.

Obviously this is Law & Order’s take on the Daniel Tosh incident that happened last year, but this is doing Tosh a disservice, because Tosh actually has jokes in his act. Whether you find the funny or not is up to you, but there are setups and punchlines because he is a professional comedian.

What’s also frustrating was how very little Ice-T was this episode. Which is always weak sauce. Quick aside though, apparently Christopher Meloni gave an interview to E! where he said he wouldn’t be strapping on Det. Stabler’s shield and anger issues again and Ice-T had something to say about that on Twitter. So, now we know that Ice loves Cocoa, but not being asked about Chris. I just put that little footnote in my dream journal.

ICE T Tweet

There was only one thing I enjoyed about this episode. One little nugget hit me just right. So, famous comedian Josh Galloway often gets girls to come back to his hotel room after the show. He has sex with them and then in the morning he gives them a little gift bag and sends them on their way, which is a thing that Derek Jeter actually does. Yankee shortstop Derek “The Captain” Jeter is known to give a lady a little bag filled with autographed Yankee swag as a little memento of their night together. That’s amazing. I’m not at that level yet, so if you bang me, you’ll only get a matchbook and some loose change.

SUVPD

The episode ended with Sophia Bush from Chicago PD coming into Benson’s office to ask for help on one of their cases in a “Crossover Event” for sweeps. I’ll watch Chicago PD and report back later.

In summation, this Law & Order: SUV was a lot like rape, in that I hope nobody ever has to experience it ever again. Goodnight everybody and don’t forget to tip your waiters.

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